Two nights back I probably had one of the scariest experiences in my life.My cousin's wife was celebrating her birthday. We had this huge get together at her place with a huge motley of cousins who live in Bangalore. I was leaving that night to Madras for my rather extended leave to attend the weddings in my family.After much celebration, I reluctantly tore myself apart to catch an auto rickshaw to Majestic where I was to board the Chennai Mail which departs at 10.45. This was probably at around 9.30 in the night. Extremely early by Bangalore standards. By the way, I live at BTM, so the journey is a pretty long one.
The auto driver was a young guy, seeming harmless. Quite casually somewhere at the start of our journey he asked me in Hindi, " Memsaab, apko ithna raat pe ithna dhoor jaane me darr nahin lagta hain kya?Bangalore tho ithna be safe nahin hain" ( At this time of the night, aren't you scared to be going so far? Bangalore is not a safe city). I said "Nahin". And added to quell him "Mujhe Karate Patha Hain" ( No, I know Karate).He then turned and said in a rather husky tone,"Chae Saath Aadmi Aayenge tho aap kya karr sakthe hain, huh? ( If 6 or 7 men were to come then what can you do?).
At that moment my blood chilled right to my bone. A seemingly harmless conversation took an ominous turn in my mind. I like a lot of the other women live my life tutting in pity and horror when I read stories of rape and murder in the paper, look up to the skies and pray that it should not happen to anyone I know ( praying that no one is raped seems so futile) yet live my life in that confident bliss of assurance that it will not happen to me. I have always been a very careful person. In all likelihood because I have learnt Karate and happen to be a brown belt. When walking alone in the night I am always on the alert and watch my shadows to see if I am being followed. Confident of being able to deflect any attack. But at that instant I was horrified. I have a terrible sense of direction as all of my friends would attest to( After 4 years, I still don't know the way to my college).I could not help but wonder whether the auto driver had been issuing me a word of warning or whether it was a statement of what was to befall me.
I did not know the way to Majestic. I did not know if he was going on the right route. I did not anything at that instant but my fear. Ignorance had never been less blissful.Adrenalin was surging through me at a rate hundred times more rapid that at any other instance. It was only at around 10.20 when I reached Bangalore City station that my fear finally subsided.At that moment I resolved with all within me that I would not travel alone at night.
Two days later I am yet to decide whether I ought to laugh at my silly fears.I wonder if my imagination had been playing overtime with that one remark made by the auto driver. Yet, another part of me tells me that exercising caution could never be futile.The world is not too safe a place. This driver might just make ominous statements. Another might not hesitate to put his words in action.
27 comments:
LOL...LOL...Well, u know what, i know kung-fua nd Taek-wondo, and so im confident i can fend off canon balls!....Your knowledge of karate is as insignificant as my above statement, if your fantasised situation ever came true!
well..whether u kno karate or not ,saying that u know karate cud have saved u from trouble . obviously the guy (if he had any intention and if he is alone) cudnt try to mess with a karate expert .
ofc ..vikram has diff opinion here.
Sounds scaryyyyyyyyyyy........
Wateve said and done abt LIBERATION and EMANCIPATION....we still need to face such things in the society :(
We r yet to gain REAL INDEPENDENCE.
Now I feel so guilty. Be safe girl! I had a very similar experience once. The not-knowing-whats-gonna-happen factor is really scary!
take care ......
Perhaps your personal alarm would help you better! :)
Silly fear or not..
Please never travel that late alone with a stranger..
Sorry to sound like your mother, but nothing's worth that risk anymore :-(
He was probably just trying to be helpful and ended up scaring you instead :)
One can never be too careful about these things, though. Plain common sense says a girl shouldn't travel alone at night, karate or no karate!
well...that auto guy brought u to reality...hope it hit ur head...be careful!!!
Brown belt! ...from school?? ..Thank god i din't continue after white belt!! ;p
Fear is not feminine. Men too experience it. It's not that the guys who go around the night are any more safe than a girl. Man can't be raped, I agree. But he can be injured, maimed or killed, forget just robbed. Physical and psychological disfigurement are never worth experiencing.
The bottomline is: whether it be for a man or woman, it's a lot psychological. Women feel it more, because the society has stereotyped her that way. She is made to feel more scared than a man.
Imagine that auto driver saying the same or a similar thing to a guy. He would too have felt, why the driver was saying so. And, depending upon his state of mind, would have felt fearful. Only difference is: a man wouldn't admit his fears as readily as a woman.
He is brought up in such a way not to be fearful. But no such care is taken in the upbringing of a girl. The vulnerability of woman is overemphasised as if a man is never vulnerable to dangers.
Always take care, never be fearful. Even I think twice before going out alone late at night. As they say, discretion is the better part of valour.
u really are a karate watever belt u said.thats incredible!!!!!!!!!
next time i see u i have to fight with u
no harm being cautious and safe madam.. But one thing that I see among people who have learnt karate (me inclusive :d, i HAD to add this) is to be over-confident!
yes. Better safe than sorry...
vasu
vikram: LOL.
Well., yer martial arts will help when you have s stable mind. But if you are gonna b shivering, martial arts is not gonna help. Anywayz., be safe.
And er.. prospective singles out there: Lady knows 'k-a-r-a-t-e'., so better wear yer guards :P
Jus came across your blog.....
wow..that is scary....esp if a weird auto driver omniously pronounces "what if there are 6 to 7 guys..then what will you do???" It sounded more like HE was planning to do something with you.....scary. Good to know youre ok though...
and I absolutely love Atlas Shrugged(this book made me think so much its insane)....hurray for John Galt!
Megha
@all - my sis's wedding been happening the last two weeks!! so was totally out of circuit!!!!
@vik -u're wrong... karate has made me a lot more alert and fastened my reflexes.. and tat sure does count in a dicey situation!! and u'll laugh.. but i left my personal alarm at home tat day cause i felt the luggage i was carrying was large enough!! :(
@jagan - i totally agree with you!!!
@nan- yup... it's more a case of needing to change mentalities out there!!
@boo - yup !! def will.. don't tell aparna and sriram abt this though.. they'll kill me !!! :) wat happ to scare you??
@mark,vinesh - its true... should be a lot more careful
@pradeep - yeah... guys are in danger of being killed too.. but watever said or done..we are the weaker sex... in terms of strength
@whoosh - very confident / not over confident!!!
@vasu-yeah
@joe- ;) yup!!!
@vats-game dude!!!
@megha- seriously!!! yeah.. atlas shrugged is out of the world.. though personally fransisco inspired me more!!!
A friend of mine is this brave tomboy who would hold trouble by both its horns and come out unscathed. Here is one technique she used to use when in trouble.
One evening as she was walking back home in coimbatore, she noticed two guys stalking her through a dark part of her street. She also heard a lot of talking and giggling. She just stopped, turned around and asked these guys a direct question in a menacing voice "Anna enna na sonnenga ??" (What were you saying brother ?). It must have startled them as the two guys just scooted off immediately.
I dont know if this is an allweather technique, but definitely unconventional and can put people off balance. Ofcourse, you cant use it too often as law of averages will catch up.
Still being safe and secure is a better idea, but once in a while you can use this as shohaib akthar uses the slow delivery...
I was always scared of this woman as you would never know when she would hit the deck with bouncer aimed straight at your head.
vasu
well, being watchful all the time always helps!!!
Iwould have been terrified too- Used to avoid travelling by autos for that very reason- rather go safely by bus, even if it takes a bit longer- or a share auto or something like that- in any case keep your cell phone at your side always- to call for help, avoid lonely roads- something similar happened to me once, when I got lost in T.Nagar , and asked a pookari to tell me the way; she led me through the winding streets through slums, and I had no idea which way I had come from and which way I was going. I simply prayed all the way. Turns out she had taken me through a shortcut. Well, I felt bad for not having a little more faith in people, and quite silly besides. But with the stories that you hear, you just can't be too careful.
@vasu- yeah, i use that technique too!!!
@rock.. - what is a paladin?u were in my clg? school?
@kaushik - yeah :(
@reflex - my skills are fine.. but yeah.. need to be careful..
@nandini - hi!!! long time no c!!!yeah.. that trip in t nagar would have been extremely scary! But fact remains that it's better to be wary than hold too much of faith in ppl!! You know what? Jus so as to let him know i had ppl .. i tried to call a friend .. but you know what? Network is unreachable! Sometimes cellphones can be quite useless!!
mebbe if you had shown fear it could have been different. you were brave and confident... but be cautious too. good one.
good one.. just happened to read this post by chance... guess somethings dont change.. it's alright to be brave and courageous.. but i guess it's better to be carefull.. No place is safe...specially for women..
deeps its a good thing you played your part rather well, in anycase be alert like you always are there is no harm in it. Its best not to entertain strangers is what i would say !!!
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