Of Fairy Tales & Waking up

When I was young, I adored my Disney fairy tales. I loved the princesses, their singing and more than anything else, the -'and then they lived happily ever after...' ending of the tales. It made be believe that every single person, from me to the prime minister to the beggar on the street was destined to a happy ending even if the beginning was filled with unhappiness. I was fond of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and insane about Bella. Actually, I, still adore Bella & her beast. She was probably the only heroine in a Disney tale back in those days with enough bravado to put the beast in his place and give it back in full measure to the villain, Gaston. I seriously <3 Bella.

As I grow older, however, I can't but wonder, about the happily ever after of all of them, barring Bella ( Bella is my personal rockstar and no one can diss her, not even me ). Take Sleeping Beauty for example. She awakens after a hundred years with a kiss from her prince. Seriously? If for some reason I was to go into a coma and wake up even 10 years later, I think I would be too disoriented by the way the world around me has progressed and changed. I would be so totally out of my depth, thrown into despair by being so clueless about things and probably go into some deep dejection. But not Sleeping Beauty. She marries the prince and lives happily ever after with no muscle atrophy after 100 years of sleep, perfectly in sync with the century she has hopped into.

Yeah, sure.I totally get it.

P.S. I know that Fairy tales are meant for children and not meant to be psycho analyzed by adults.

A.W.A.D

Claustrophobia

• a morbid fear of being closed in a confined space wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
• Claustrophobia (from Latin claustrum "a shut in place" and Greek φόβος, phóbos, "fear") is the fear of having no escape and being closed in. It is typically classified as an anxiety disorder and often results in panic attack. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claustrophobia


• claustrophobic - uncomfortably closed or hemmed in; "a claustrophobic little room"
  claustrophobic - suffering from claustrophobia; abnormally afraid of closed-in places wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn


• Fear of confined spaces. www.usanetwork.com/series/monk/webexclusives/dictionary/phobiac.html


• a phobia of closed spaces or situations which are difficult to escape from. May occur with elevators, escalators, etc., anxiety-panic.com/dictionary/en-dictc.htm


• abnormal dread of being in closed or narrow spaces Blood 2X03 www.askdrscully.com/psychward.html

Erase and Rewind.

This song has been running in my mind constantly for the last two weeks. It's like an addiction I can't get enough of.  Probably because it tells me something that I need to hear but I am not ready to acknowledge... atleast, not yet...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex2E4vyGem0

Hey, what did you hear me say

You know the difference it makes

What did you hear me say

Yes, I said it's fine before

But I don't think so no more

I said it's fine before

I've changed my mind I take it back

Erase and rewind

'Cause I've been changing my mind

I've changed my mind

So where did you see me go

It's not the right way, you know

Where did you see me go

No, it's not that I don't know

I just don't want it to grow

It's not that I don't know

I've changed my mind I take it back

Erase and rewind

'Cause I've been changing my mind

Erase and rewind

'Cause I've been changing my mind

Erase and rewind

'Cause I've been changing my mind
Erase and rewind

'Cause I've been changing my mind
I've changed my mind

After the Movie...

I went for the scary movie 'Paranormal Activity' last night with a few of my friends.

After the movie, one of them swears that he nearly had his arm wrenched out of its socket and another swears he has scratch marks all over his arms.
Go ahead, gasp. Now I have to disappoint you. Their agonies arise not from the demon in the movie, but from yours truly who hates to love horror films.

What makes their physical tribulations all the more tragic is that the movie was really not that scary. While it did have good sound effects and a couple of terrifying moments it was quite 'Blair Witch Project' like in construct, and I did not like the Blair Witch Project. No, not one bit.

What did make me feel better was that just as I woke up in the middle of the night hearing imaginary sounds, Nandita did as well. Deems too appears to have had his heart leaping moments going by the contents of the mail he wrote to us early today morning.

Anyways, I digress.

I wrote this post to post the mail written by Deems to the rest of us.I quite loved the language that he has used as well as the sentiments expressed.

Here goes...


And even as we joked about the imagined drunk girl whose glasses we found in the auto, the presence was seeing us through its eyes. It might not have breathed down my neck as it did in the movie, but it must have smiled, muttering to itself ' ahhh...if only they knew.'


...to be continued.


I got slightly bored and am lost for words. I tried to imagine noises and still I cant hear any.


Have faith that there's more good in this world than bad, so all'll be well. Don't
get scared. And if any of you kids get scared do give me a call.

THE IRONY OF IMMORTALITY

Immortality is so ironic. The more mortal you are the more immortal you become.

Look at the shadowed footprints of those long gone.For the greater part,it is not those who sighed their last in infirmity and old age who are well remembered and long mourned but those whose breath were abruptly halted through foul means or fair,at least by the terms of heavens above, who are wistfully remembered and deeply mourned. The younger you are the better.
People think of you and see your face in photographs yellowing with age and bitterly wonder 'Where would you be, What would you be doing and What would you say were you alive?'. They look at your unlined face timeless in its youth and uncreased from worries and wonder if their life would have been different if you would have still been alive. They see those happy memories captured in still images, forgetting the tough times they suffered with you and wish you were there to partake in both their sorrows and joys. They attribute many a current success to you and wonder what you would have said if you had been around to feel the same euphoric rise as they do at that moment.

Immortal aren't you? No one lives to see you brittle with age and turn sour as experiences add an astringent dash of lemon to your character. No one lives to see your beauty erode as your shiny black tresses turn into dusty grey, your features decompose into a distorted mirror of your vibrant youth, your weaknesses magnified and your strengths underplayed and those wonderful dreams and promises of success fade into the tempered mediocrity of reality.

Immortal you are. You live on long after you are gone as a monument to perfection;your weaknesses non existent, your courage and character amplified and your unfulfilled dreams and hopes now the dreams and promises of those you left behind.

You... You... You who were most mortal of all men and women are now the pinnacle of immortality. So ironic.

IF I EVER...

If i ever think of you
so hard,so hard I try not to
I only wish that before you had gone
I only wish that you had said good bye

In all these years I never knew
that when I ever thought of you
that every time I reached for you
these were the words I needed to hear

"Goodbye, farewell,thank you,my friend
the journey was lovely, but it had to end
When I am gone, I wont look back, wont turn around
Farewell, godspeed, do not hold on"

© Deepti Ravi
February 2009

BACK AGAIN...

It's been so long since I last blogged - A period of enforced silence. The reason I did not write was not because I had nothing to say, but, rather, too much. With my head constantly exploding with a gazillion thoughts that begged to be released, I yearned to pour down my thoughts here, but the very fact, that all that I felt was too intimate and personal for public consumption held me back. My outpourings found a different vessel.

Now that the year is over, now that I return to the real world, a world I find myself flapping in like a fish out of water. I look at the clock ticking away and wonder why seconds seem to stretch on like hours. I sit in the home that has been my home for nearly twenty years and yearn to stretch my wings again. *Sigh....*....*Wanderlust....*