Friday, December 23, 2005

UNROMANTIC BE DAMNED!!

My sister is currently in a rather worthwhile quest. She hunts every nook and cranny for her long remembered - less encountered friends to invite to her wedding which is in February. Her visit to Bangalore serves the dual purpose of spending time with her beloved younger sister and distributing invitations.

The other day I accompanied her when she met up with her friend and his wife. The four of us went out for a coffee and tiffin at a place called Brindavan Hotel at MG Road. One of those typically Southie restaurants with long acrylic wood tables and identical chairs with fans running high above in the ceiling and waiters with those funny caps on their heads, matching their uniforms and a small sized towel slung on one shoulder. Get the pitcure?

Well her friends were very nice. A very sweet, not long married couple who seemed to talk lots and laugh even more. There I was, unusually silent, observing thier conversation when something the husband said absolutely got my gall!@!@*!! My sister was telling them " I wont take much of your time. You guys can make it to a quiet and romantic dinner for two after this at some good restaurant" when the husband replied " chae!!chae!! We never go out like that and all Ramya. We both are very unromantic. We are not into such romantic outings ". I was quite tempted to at that moment hit him in the eye and say " Speak for yourself, dude!!!". I was quite stunned at the assumption he just made that his wife would not like any romantic gestures. Give me a break! I doubt there is any girl who would not like her guy to get just a tad bit romantic atleast on occasions. A girl who does not like to be taken out for dinner and to use the quite familiar phrase 'wined and dined'. Newly married at that!

At that instant, I couldn't help but wonder.Are there really a lot of guys who actually presume that a girl does not like to be wooed? That a little bit of caring would be too amiss?? If there are,all I can think of telling them is "How presumptious can you get in just assuming that a girl would like things to be completely prosaic as you do??"Doesn't it strike them that the girl might secretly long for ( yet never admit) a little bit of that extra hint of caring?

Unromantic Husbands be damned!!!

22 comments:

Unknown said...

did u know that the same people who own the Brindavan Hotel own the Apoorva Sangeetha chain of hotels?? The owner's son used to be my good friend at the gym!...Well, as for that husband, a good dosage of aphrodisiacs should serve the purpose! ;)

Unknown said...

and your current template is one of my personal favs!...the change also highlights the extent of your joblessness! :D

Deepti Ravi said...

@viks... why am i not surprised?? your gym seems to have had the most motley crowd of stars!!! and i was so thoroughly bored of my template, i just had to change it!!!!

Deepti Ravi said...

@viks - btw... how did i forget to pick on 'Aphrodisiac'... reminds of ur cousin and u!!!!

Unknown said...

hehehe...yeah...had a good crowd there!...yeah, my cousin is quite a character! :D

nandini said...

Like your new Title btw, and the blog... is probably totally true! Poor girl... I hope someone sets him straight!

Deepti Ravi said...

@nandini - thanx!!

Sujit said...

Yep.. you are right!!.. Its is really nice to take your gal out!!.. if not for very long time.... short duration. atleast!

Prashanth said...

Did it occur to you that perhaps he was just being modest? Guys don't often admit to having romantic impulses ;)

Have a happy new year!

Shashi Iyer said...

these kinda men! quite a disgrace to the male community :)!

and i see u got urself safe when u said some men :)

Deepti Ravi said...

@sujit - :)
@prashant - modesty?? 8( no way!!! he sounded quite proud about his lack of romanticism...and neways its the deed that counts not the speech.. and this guy sure does take the cake for zilch romanticism!!
@ shashi - well... i had to play it safe rite. ;) can't burn all my bridges !!! :P

Jagan said...

may be ur sis's frd was underplaying a bit. come on..he didnt want to be teased or something . and u think newly married couple wont do anything romantic ?

Deepti Ravi said...

@jagan- nah!probably in private, but the only trips they take are religious ones(with parents ;) beat tat!!!)

Vasu the terrible said...

Hi,

I know this discussion is long dead, yet I couldnt resist.

Damm the unromantic guys. What next, damm the non-funny guy ? Damm the unintelligent guy ? Why dont we just go ahead and say Damm guys ? isnt that simpler ?

>>I was quite stunned at the >>assumption he just made that his >>wife would not like any romantic >>gestures.

Maybe that is true, who knows.

>>I doubt there is any girl who would >>not like her guy to get just a tad >>bit romantic atleast on occasions.

I think you are assuming here. Its not asif all girls are romantic and all guys are not. I dont see such a big fixation for romance. There are hundred other things like trust, dependability.. Are these out of fashion ? Looks to me that they are happy.

>>At that instant, I couldn't help but >>wonder.Are there really a lot of >>guys who actually presume that a >>girl does not like to be wooed? That >>a little bit of caring would be too >>amiss??

What is this whole business of woeing ? I think, one needs to be realistic about things. If two people like each other and have made their decision to be togather that like/love would be the cornorstone. But in other cases (which is what it appears to be), there might be other cornorstones.

>>"How presumptious can you get in >>just assuming that a girl would like >>things to be completely prosaic as >>you do??"Doesn't it strike them that >>the girl might secretly long for ( >>yet never admit) a little bit of >>that extra hint of caring?

If a girl does have her wants, she should learn to air it. Arent they married ? This secret longing for something and the man trying to figure out what she is secretly longing for is too cumbersome.

Some play safe and some like the thrill of romance. It takes all kinds to make this world. Hell no, there are enough and more shah rukhkhans running around town wooeing all you secretly longing women (added as an after thought in jest. Not to be mistaken for arrogance or cockiness).

sorry for jumping in from nowhere. I just couldnt resist this and no offece meant.

Vasu

Deepti Ravi said...

@ vasu - no offense taken at all.. quite impressed with ur reasoning.. ;) trust, dependability, good conversation, friendship... i consider all these to be implicit in any wedded relationship... those are the by defaults without which a marriage can only be declared to be a sham!! But beyond all these factors.. i do believe that a little bit of showy affection and wooing goes a long way towards adding a little spark towards otherwise a humdrum existence.. and yes, you are right when you say not all guys are romantic, and not all girls are .. but I am... and I viewed myself in the shoes of that girl!! For an honest relationship.. a girl needs to honest with the guy and vice versa.. but would you be brutally honest to the extent of injuring the others principles? After all when you marry a person. .are you not aware of their peculiar characteristics and accept them ,not go into a marriage with the intent of changing a person? She openly stated "My husband cannot imagine bringing me to any other place?".
yes, they were affectionate towards each other and to everyone who says that probably he just didn't want to admit it in public , " What hypocrisy is it to state the complete opposite? Would not silence have been a better option? ".
And Shah Rukhs of the world ..who run around trees.. and get drenched in waterfalls !!! please!!! I said a 'tad bit of romance' ... not a drowning in the niagara falls!!!

Vasu the terrible said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Vasu the terrible said...

Ok.. lets look at it another way. Lets for a moment assume, there is romance and he is showing it the best way he knows. Lets assume that and twist this whole argument on its head and see if it spins.

I know a lot of people (like my own parents) who are affectionate to each other but donot display that. In my opinion they fight so much that I sometimes ask "Why are they even togather".

Maybe our man (hero) is a dyed in the wool tamilian who likes his mini idlis and filter coffee and he is happy there. Maybe the girl is also happy about the things she sees. Isnt that why she is affectionate back ? But then "hero" would face some testing times somewhere down the line and maybe thats what will change him.

Maybe you visualising yourself in the shoes of that girl are enraged because he is not acting in a certain way, that fits your image of being romantic ?

Maybe You are not giving him the legitmate leeway that he is expressing his thoughts for her by bringing him to 'Brindavan'.

And maybe you just got it wrong from the girl's perspective.

Maybe I would have said "vow... he is so comfy in his relationship with her that he doesent need to put up a show(borrowed it from you) in some 13th floor but feels good taking her to a place he likes".

Maybe all this is true ? (I know you are saying "slim chance" :D )

And hey no condescending comments Brindavan and sapat raman. Those are the two places which serve good food home away from home the old fashioned way (waiter with a flairy cap and all).

Besides, there is parking free in brindavan.

Now try beating that...

vasu

Deepti Ravi said...

i bow my head down and acquiesce that thayir vadais will always remain thayir vadais. :D
but I would settle for a thayir vadai that is awesome but once in a while likes to be a sambar vadai just for variety's sake :P . The remarks made were purely coming from my ego!! :) And yeah Brindavan Coffee rocks.. and i'd like to have it more regularly..but still..an occasional chung wah or a cafe fresco sure would make my day, honey( for the sake of getting off the thin rope of monotony!!!)!! get the point??

Vasu the terrible said...

Thair vadais are thair vadais.. because they cant help it.. Its not the vada's fault that he is swimming in a sea of thair... poor guy is secure in his thair, not knowing the eater might want sambar vada.. perhaps its time the eater stops waiting for the thair to grow legs and walk into a bowl of sambar... Instead isnt it a good idea to pick up the vada out of thair, give it a nice squeeze (drain out the thair and hramfull oils) and plop into a nice bowl of sambar ? :))..

Ya... a chungwa or atleast a ramanas is better ambience esp with a girl, that too wife..

personally I prefer to have my DSP from appu's or little ganesha.. thats when I am with poriki friends of mine.

But ya if its a girl, I would opt for a purple hayze or atleast a guzzlers..

I agree there with you.. but anger/frustration isnt the right emotion for our thair vadai.. pity or surprise is..

dont damm the poor guy.. almost all of us were once thair vadais, some of us grew legs, some of us were squeezed out of our inertia

vasu

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