Wednesday, September 07, 2005

THE BATTLE OF CHANGE Vs CONSTANCY

Sometimes in life you take decisions that end up steering your ship in a completely different direction. I like that. For all my life I have always moved in whatever the direction the wind has taken me. Change they say is inevitable. But we always tend to resist it. The harmony of living with constancy in our life is something most of us yearn for. The unknown is something best undiscovered. I am no different. For all my life the only times I have not berated change is when it has been inevitable. Never have I actively sought for it. The one time I did was two months back when I opted to move to Bangalore. Most might regard it as nothing but a step as tiny as that of toddler.There are people who have dared to travel farther and plunge into the forbidden seas. But for someone like me moving out of home and living in a different city, away from family, friends and the known faces of unknown strangers was more close to being a leap. A giant leap. The first week was rather hard to take. I spent nearly every waking moment wondering if I had taken the wrong decision. Should I have opted to live in Chennai? Did I really have to leave all things familiar to plunge myself into the unknown, not pushed; but of my own free will? Its been three weeks now. And I'm slowly starting to settle down. Slowly but surely. The doubts will never be gone. But they stop to plague me. And the important part of it all is that I am proud of myself. Proud of the fact that I let things change. Proud that i let myself resist constancy . It might sound like something too paltry to be proud of . But for me it comes close to an achievement. For having finally dared to steer my own ship, suddently I dont want to let it go anymore.